Every wedding runs on two clocks. The long one starts the day you book the venue and ticks through a year or so of calls, contracts and deposits. The short one starts four weeks out, when the choosing is done and the work turns into checking and handing over.
The first two bookings are the venue and whoever will conduct the ceremony, and nothing else should be paid for until both are confirmed. After that, ask one question of every supplier: how many weddings can they do on a Saturday? A photographer can do one, a florist with a team two or three, and a cake maker can deliver to several venues before lunch.
Book the people who cannot be in two places at once first. Summer Saturdays go far sooner than a Thursday in March, so treat what follows as an order, not a timetable.
First: the venue and the registrars, together
In England and Wales a civil ceremony takes place at a register office or at a venue the council has approved, and there are more than 7,300 of those. Search the map by postcode or town to see every one near you, each with the name of the council that approved it. Before you fall for one, take the questions to ask a venue on the showround with you.
That council matters, because its registrars are the ones who will marry you. You book them with the council’s registration service, not through the venue, and it is not always your own council: a couple from Leeds marrying in Norfolk books Norfolk’s registrars. Hold the venue provisionally, check the registrars have someone free, then confirm both. On a summer Saturday their diary can be the tighter of the two.
If a celebrant is leading the ceremony
If you want a humanist or independent celebrant, book them as early as the venue. Many take one ceremony a day and spend several meetings writing it with you. Their ceremonies are not yet legally binding in England and Wales, so you will also need a short legal ceremony at a register office, which the guide to wedding law reform explains, along with the changes under discussion.
Ask a celebrant how many times you will meet, whether you can read a ceremony they have written, and who steps in if they are ill. A registration service has a team to draw on; an independent celebrant needs a named colleague ready.
Next: the people with one diary
Photographer and videographer
These are the next calls to make, because a photographer can be at one wedding a day and the most sought-after book up a year or more ahead. Choosing one is mostly a matter of looking.
Ask to see two or three full galleries, start to finish. A highlights reel is the best twenty frames from a hundred weddings; a full gallery is what you will receive. If you can, see one shot somewhere like your venue, because a dim December barn is a different job from a sunlit lawn. Then ask:
- Will the person you met be the one who turns up, and is there a second photographer?
- How many hours are covered, and what happens if the day runs late?
- If they are ill, who replaces them, and have you seen that person’s work?
For video, the question that matters most is sound. Ask how they record the vows and the speeches, and whether they put a microphone on the registrar or celebrant. Registration services set their own rules on filming and photography during the ceremony, so ask yours and pass the answer to both suppliers.
Band, DJ and ceremony musicians
Think of the music in three parts. The classic run is a string quartet for the ceremony, an acoustic set for the drinks and a band or DJ for the evening. In a civil ceremony every piece must be non-religious, and the registrars approve the music and readings in advance, so hymns are out, however much a grandparent loves one.
A band plays one wedding a night, so the good ones go early. Tell them the venue’s curfew and noise limit before you sign, not after, and ask:
- How long are the sets and the breaks, and what plays in between?
- How much space and how many power sockets do they need, and when do they load in?
- Do they have safety certificates for their equipment, which many venues ask to see?
Then: the caterer, the outfits and the trial runs
Many venues cater in-house or from a set list. If yours does not, the caterer is the next booking: ask for a tasting, how they handle allergies and dietary needs, how many staff they bring, and whether the venue’s kitchen suits them.
A made-to-order wedding dress takes months to arrive and then needs several fittings, so start looking well before the other bookings feel urgent. Suits are quicker, but a hire group needs everyone measured, including the friend who lives in Singapore, so ask the hire company for its deadline for sizes.
For hair and make-up, build the trial into the booking. Ask how many people they can get ready in the time available, whether they bring an assistant, and who comes if they are ill. Then work backwards from the ceremony to find the start time. It is earlier than anyone expects.
Later: flowers, cake, cars and stationery
Book a florist once you know the venue’s rules and roughly how you want it to look. A good one knows where things can hang, whether real candles are allowed and how early they can get in. Ask which flowers will be in season on your date, and whether the ceremony flowers can move to the dining room while guests are at drinks, which doubles their use.
The cake can come late, because a cake maker can deliver to more than one wedding a day. Ask how it will travel, whether it will survive a hot July afternoon in a marquee, and whether the venue’s staff will cut and serve it.
Wedding cars are about timing as much as looks. Ask how many journeys are included, how long the driver waits and what happens if the car breaks down, then drive the route yourself at the same time on the same day of the week.
Stationery runs on two clocks of its own. Invitations need your wording and guest list early; the table plan, place cards and menus depend on final numbers, which arrive late. Ask the stationer for the last date for changes.
Five questions for every supplier
However different the job, the same few questions separate the professionals from the rest:
- Is there a written contract with the date, the times, the venue and exactly what is included?
- When are the deposit and the balance due, and how much of the deposit comes back if you cancel?
- What happens if they have to cancel, and who is their back-up?
- Do they carry public liability insurance, and can the venue see it?
- When do they arrive, when do they leave, and what do they need from you on the day?
Keep every contract and answer in one folder you can both open. Two weeks out it becomes your contact sheet, and on the morning it means somebody other than you can answer “what time is the florist coming?”
A few months out: giving notice
The legal paperwork has a window of its own. In England and Wales you each give notice at your local register office at least 29 days before the ceremony, because the notice goes on public display for 28 days first. You then have twelve months to hold the ceremony, so most couples give notice a few months ahead, and you both need to be 18 or over.
Notice names your venue, and councils point out that changing venue afterwards means giving notice all over again, which is one more reason the venue comes first. Appointments can be weeks away, and without notice there is no legal ceremony. GOV.UK sets out the rules on notice, including the extra steps if either of you is from outside the UK or Ireland.
Four weeks out: the registrars and the witnesses
Four weeks out, the aim is to make yourself unnecessary: every question a supplier or guest could ask on the day should have an answer that lives with somebody else. Start with the registration service covering your venue, and confirm the date, the time, the venue and the room. If you gave notice in a different area, check your paperwork has reached them.
Many services send a form or hold a final meeting around now to agree your vows, readings and music. Everything must be non-religious and approved in advance, so send your choices early. Ask, too, whether to bring anything on the day: plenty ask for no documents, but if anything about your name or details has changed since notice, expect to be asked for proof.
The registrars will also see you before the ceremony to check the details you gave at notice, sometimes together and sometimes one at a time, so build that into your timings. While you have them on the phone, ask how to order copies of your certificate: if either of you is changing name, the passport office will want one. Book any honeymoon travel in the name on the passport you will travel with, since the two have to match.
Your witnesses and the schedule
You need at least two witnesses, who sign alongside you and the registrar. The registrars cannot be your witnesses, so choose yours now and tell them. Each registration service sets its own rules for witnesses, commonly that they speak and understand English and are at least 16 or 18, so check yours.
For a marriage, the document you sign is called a schedule, which replaced the old register books in 2021. It has room for up to four parents for each of you, and since that change a marriage certificate can show mothers’ names as well as fathers’. Check the spelling of everyone’s names now. It is far easier than correcting a certificate afterwards.
Three weeks out: numbers, money and shoes
Chase the last replies and give the venue your final numbers by its deadline, with every dietary need and allergy written against a name. Finish the table plan, and send the stationer the final list.
List every payment still due: who, how much, by when and how they want paying. Most final balances fall due in the last few weeks, and one or two suppliers will want a bank transfer. Put any cash for the day in labelled envelopes with one trusted person, so nobody is hunting for a card machine at eleven at night.
Then the final fittings. Wear the shoes around the house for an evening or two, because blisters are easier to prevent than to dance on.
Two weeks out: the running order
The running order is the document that runs the day. Start from the ceremony time and work outwards, from the registrars’ interview and the hair and make-up to the speeches, the first dance, the last song and the taxis. Leave slack everywhere, especially around the group photos and the turnaround of the ceremony room.
Send it to the venue coordinator, every supplier and your right hand on the day, and ask each to check their part. A florist who reads that the ceremony room is needed at one o’clock will tell you now if that is a problem, not at noon on the day.
Turn the supplier folder into a one-page contact sheet: names, mobiles, arrival times and who is paid in full. Give copies to the coordinator and to one person in your party who will carry their phone all day. That person, not you, is who suppliers call.
Then ring every supplier to confirm the date, times, address and parking. It takes an evening, and it catches the florist who has you down for the venue with a similar name twenty miles away.
Speeches and group photographs
Settle who is speaking, in what order and roughly for how long. Three speeches of five minutes each is a highlight; three of twenty is an endurance event, and somewhere a kitchen is keeping the main course warm. Check there is a microphone, and tell the photographer and videographer when the speeches are.
Give the photographer a list of the family groups you want, with names, and give a copy to a relative who knows everyone and has a loud voice. Group photos go fastest when somebody other than the photographer is rounding up the uncles.
The week of the wedding
If any part of the day is outdoors, agree with the venue who decides whether it moves inside, by what time, and on what forecast, so the decision is a rule rather than an argument. The ceremony has to move to a room approved for ceremonies, and the registrars need to know. Borrow a box of large umbrellas either way. They make better photographs than you would think.
Decide who holds the rings: usually whoever stands beside you, from the morning, in a pocket that zips. If a child or a dog is carrying them down the aisle, a responsible adult holds them until the last possible moment.
Pack a bag for somebody else to carry. A good one holds:
- plasters, painkillers, antihistamines and any medication you take
- safety pins, a needle and thread in the right colours, and a stain-removing pen
- hairpins, a comb, deodorant and tissues
- phone chargers, and printed copies of the running order and contact sheet
- water and something sweet
- spare tights or socks, and flat shoes for later
Then gather everything going to the venue, from the guest book to the favours and the card box, label it, and agree who takes what home at the end of the night. The card box needs a named guardian: it holds messages from everyone you love, and it should not spend the night on an unattended table.
The morning of the day
Eat breakfast, even if you do not feel like it, and give your phone to someone else. Once the weather call is made, stop checking the forecast. It is the venue’s rule to carry out now, not yours.
Arrive on time for the registrars. Ceremonies are booked back to back on busy days, and councils warn that a late couple can find their ceremony shortened or moved to the end of the day. Then, during the ceremony, look up: at your partner, at the room, at the people who came. It passes faster than anyone expects.
The morning after
Somebody has to go back. Check the venue’s collection deadline and who is doing it: decorations down, leftover wine loaded into a car, cards and gifts taken somewhere safe, any bar tab settled. Hired suits go back within days, so put someone in charge of those too.
Then the slow jobs. Gather the photos friends took on their phones before they vanish into camera rolls, and write down who gave what while you still remember. Thank-you cards can wait a week or two; a note to the suppliers who made the day is worth sending while it is fresh.
And have a long breakfast with whoever is still around. It is the last part of the wedding, and nobody needs anything from you.